June 27, 2022

How to Build Resilience in Children-7 Best Ways

happy children

If you want to teach your child resilience, there are plenty of opportunities in everyday life to help them develop the skills they need to deal with life’s inevitable bumps and bruises. In fact, it’s as easy as looking around you and seeing the world through your child’s eyes every once in a while!

According to psychologist Angela Duckworth, The single biggest contributor to success — it’s not social intelligence, it’s not good looks, it’s not physical health, it’s not IQ. It’s grit. It’s having stamina and passion for very long-term goals.

Resilience is not a trait that is inherently present at birth. It is something you can build, little by little, over time. Parenting involves many unique challenges and one of these is helping your child become resilient enough to handle life’s bumps along the way.

 

happy children

But we don’t always know how best to go about doing it, or even where to start! So here are the 7 best ways for building resilience in your child from experts who specialize in working with kids.

Here are 7 steps you can take right now.

Begin by asking them a simple question: Are you having a bad day?

Have them describe what’s happening and how they feel about it, then ask, What do you think might help make it better? Use their answers as an opportunity to talk about strategies that may help build their resilience.

7 C’s to build Resilience in children by Dr. Ginsburg

Confidence

Your child may be at an age where they feel as though they’re able to take on anything—but it’s important not to let them think they can do things on their own.

Instead, encourage your child by telling them that you know they’re capable of accomplishing something and by teaching them some key strategies along the way.

These little confidence boosters can go a long way when it comes time for your child to tackle challenges.

So, confidence helps in raising resilient children.

 

child playing with astronaut helmet and rocket

Coping

When a child is going through a rough time, it can be hard to know how best to help them cope. By identifying and working with emotions and children’s mental health, you can help them regain some control over their own feelings.

While no single approach will work for every situation strategies that could prove helpful in different circumstances

 

Mother and son playing with alphabet blocks

Control

While building resilience, it’s important to establish clear boundaries and communicate them consistently. This lets your child know what they can and cannot do; once they understand that, they can be given some control over their lives.

To maintain control of a situation and prevent stress or anxiety levels from spiking, give them clear parameters for handling conflict (without attacking one another), and make sure you both follow through with any consequences if these rules are broken.

Children who are resilient can better manage stress, which is important for their mental health.

 

Father and son high fiving

Contribution

Remember that two heads are better than one and don’t forget to communicate with other parents. If you need support, talk to your friends and family, but remember you don’t have to do it alone. It is important for children to learn from an early age how to cope and deal with adversity.

Fostering a growth mindset in kids may seem like a challenge, especially if you can see your child struggle with something he is trying his best at.

Ensure kids get resilient by showing them that nothing worthwhile comes easy; no matter what you want to achieve, there will be ups and downs.

 

beautiful happy children in aprons cooking together

Character

A lot of us know that developing a resilient attitude is important, especially as adults. However, it’s just as important for young people; resilience can help protect kids from losing confidence during tough situations and experiences.

Parents, caregivers, and teachers play an important role in cultivating resiliency skills. What actions can you take now? What are some things you’re doing right now? How can these steps be improved upon? Being aware of how to build resilience in children is just one way you can encourage healthy development.

 

funny kid with fake paper mustache

Competence

Being resilient means that you’re confident you can handle whatever life throws at you. As it turns out, building your child’s resilience begins long before they leave home, and involves developing a sense of competency early on.

From tackling challenges head-on to getting excited about trying new things, parents play an important role in helping their kids develop courage.

Children are constantly learning from their experiences; ensuring those experiences are positive is one-way parents can boost their kid’s resiliency down the road.

Children need to learn problem-solving skills from an early age. Give them the freedom to figure out where that last puzzle piece fits or handle challenges without interfering.

 

mother and daughter planking and doing exercises

Connection

Connecting with a child who is facing challenging circumstances can be difficult, especially if they are struggling with low self-esteem or feel like they aren’t being heard. By building relationships and fostering genuine care, it’s possible to create connections and help build resilience within a child.

Children need an adult they trust and with whom they feel safe enough to discuss their feelings; it’s not uncommon for a distressed child will withdraw instead of sharing what is on their mind.

Children in pajamas

FAQs

What skills build resilience in Children?

The first step is to determine what skills and mindsets build resilience in children. Since no two people are alike, there’s no set checklist for how you can teach your child how to be resilient. However, there are a few key items that you should keep an eye out for as you interact with your child over time. They include;

  1. Does your child have coping mechanisms?
  2. Is he able to move on from problems and failures?
  3. Does he seek help when he needs it?
  4. Is he open-minded or resistant when other ideas are presented?
  5. Does he believe his problems will get better with time and effort, or does he think they’re beyond repair?

Take a moment and consider how your child answers each of these questions.

How can children’s resilience be strengthened? (Mental Health)

Many studies have found resilience is negatively correlated with indicators of mental health, such as anxiety, depression, and negative emotions. Resilience is positively correlated with indicators of mental health, such as positive emotions, life satisfaction, and well-being. (Hu et al., 2015).

Following are the best ways in building resilience in young adults.

  1. Encourage children to trust their instincts. and set reasonable goals.
  2. Ensure children know you will always be there for them.
  3. Explore with your child how she might change a stressful situation if she were able to do anything at all.
  4. Give children tools they can use later on, such as breathing techniques or mindfulness practices.
  5. Know when enough is enough and stop trying to fix everything. Believe in a child’s ability to promote resilience.
  6. Stay calm and make sure children see you remaining calm.
  7. Don’t teach children helplessness by saying things like There’s nothing we can do. Let them feel empowered.
  8. Ask yourself: What did I learn from my parents? And what can I pass on that may help someone else one day?
  9. Before turning away from a child who is upset, think of something nice you can say 10. Reassure children that it’s okay to feel sad.
  10. Remind children that they are learning and growing every day.
  11. Show children how emotions work (we feel sad but it doesn’t last forever)
  12. Offer children love, compassion, and understanding.
  13. Tell children that everyone feels sad sometimes.
  14. Take time out to do fun or extracurricular activities.
  15. Recognize sadness as a healthy emotion.
  16. Teach children about mindfully taking care of themselves.
  17. Try not to shame children for being unhappy.
  18. Develop problem-solving skills.

 

Children raising hands in victory

How to build resilience in youth?

It’s important to note that if you’re not setting a good example for your child yourself, it will be challenging for them to see and emulate your desired character traits. And it goes without saying that children develop resilience when they feel loved and supported by their parents.

If your child doesn’t feel like their problems are being heard or validated, then don’t expect them to react positively when things get rough—one of the best ways to teach children how to deal with obstacles is to teach them how their parents cope when they encounter obstacles themselves.

  • Surround them with great role models,
  • Enforce consequences if they disobey rules,
  • Avoid rewarding bad behavior, and
  • Reinforce positive character traits.

Just keep these things in mind as you raise your kids; before long, you may find yourself raising resilient adults!  Being a good role model is the best way to teach resilience.

How does a growth mindset help children develop resilience?

A growth mindset is a great way for parents to foster confidence and resilience in their children. If you have a growth mindset, you believe that you can learn and grow through your own experiences.

 

children showing resilience climbing on wall with rocks

You don’t see failure as an absolute marker of who you are—you see it as an opportunity for improvement. Resilience often develops during moments of adversity when we demonstrate grit, but it can also be learned. Here are some suggestions on how to help kids cultivate grit:

5 Tips For Raising Kids With A Growth Mindset & Building Resilience:

1) Be honest with yourself and others:

Your kids will copy everything you do (in both good and bad ways).

2) Practice gratitude:

This is one of my favorite things about parenting — I get to raise grateful children!

3) Focus on your child’s strengths, not weaknesses:

Helping your child grow his or her strengths helps him or her be more successful, even if he or she isn’t a natural at it.

4) Encourage trying again after a setback or failure:

Parents can help their children practice persistence by praising them for trying again after a setback.

5) Let go of mistakes:

Learning from our failures helps us improve, but only if we give ourselves permission to make mistakes.

Conclusion:

Healthy parents raise healthy children, and healthy kids are more likely to become successful adults. Resilient children don’t need coddling, but they do need guidance.

Resilience can be developed in many ways: by helping your child grow up with a positive attitude; by encouraging them; being open with them and by showing you care.

These tips come directly from parenting experts. Happy Parenting!

Taryn Crimi

Taryn Crimi

Taryn is an international intuitive, focused on helping to empower you manifest your best life!

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